Loss.

Do you have a friend with whom you just clicked as soon as you met? Where you did away with all of the long winded palaver involved with 'getting to know you' and just cut to the chase? I do. But I had to find her in France. Nicole was waiting for me at the school gates of the Espondeilhan ecole maternelle where her daughter and Tobes were in the same class. Because she is English, we were able to start chatting and have continued the conversation ever since.

Words cannot express what a phenomenal friend Nicole was to me and my family in France. She has an incredible generosity of spirit and largesse that is so seldom found, in any country. When I met her, she had recently married a Frenchman from a nearby village and even more recently experienced the premature birth of her baby boy. She was able to fill me in on how the whole 'having a baby in Beziers' thing worked. A subject close to my own heart as I was pregnant in a strange country and quite honestly, scared.

Nicole made me see that I didn't need to fly home early and that I could have a baby.....in French and that it would be OK. For that I am so grateful. She leant me her maternity clothes and made my hospital appointments, as she speaks French like a Biterroise. By this stage my schoolgirl French was twenty years old and even though I had waded through various Adult Education French refresher courses, they hadn't focussed on gynaecological terms. My French was so bad that at our first visit to our obstetrician (who didn't speak English, of course) he spoke to me and then left the room. I turned to my husband and told him 'I think he just told me to take my underpants off' to which he helpfully replied 'You want to be sure that's what he said'! See what I'm saying?

Nicole is also legendarily great fun as she has joie de vivre which is infectious. Oh the fun we had, trawling vide greniers and trocante shops for second hand treasure and spending entire days at her table over lunch. She may be English yet she has fully assimilated herself into her adopted French community - no expat only life for her. She was only to happy to share her experiences, friends and family with us and most of our happiest memories from our time away involve her, her gorgeous husband and two adored children.

As I write, my wonderful friend Nicole is preparing for the funeral of her little boy at the same church in Pouzolles where he was christened, two years ago. She found him drowned in their swimming pool on Thursday. A tragic accident. Nicole and Olivier, in the darkness of this Tasmanian night we have lit a candle in memory of your beautiful William, we hope that you can see it flickering from where you are.

Rx